He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
