dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
