A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so that wasnt chicken after all
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
