two words: eviction party
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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