Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
