wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
