Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
