my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
