Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
