i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
