i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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