If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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