Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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