I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
