so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
