I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
