Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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