Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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