Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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