It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i came on her dog
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
