dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
