so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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