i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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