U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
