pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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