dude i'm inner monologue high
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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