Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
