You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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