Plan B is the new Plan A
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
