Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
