This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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