I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
