he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
