I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
