he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
