i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
