Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
