how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
