: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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