Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
