holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
time to smoke my breakfast
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There r osticjed everywhere
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
