My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We got so high we made milksteak
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
