ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
