We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm at about main and main street
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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