I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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