It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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