That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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