If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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