Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
