i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
