I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
