I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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